And I mean really gross.
Sofia, my little princess, was in the bath last night. I was right there, reading a book. Not really paying attention because she was happily splashing away.
All of the sudden she screams, then cries. I notice something brown in her mouth. I notice brown things floating all around her in the bath. She pooped in there…. must be much easier on the bum than trying to push it into a diaper. She must have thought it looked good too because she took a bite. She must have cried when she realized what a mistake it was…. to eat a turd.
I feel bad. I was right there. I let it happen.
Alex called his mom and told on me. I called my own mom and told her too. The first thing my mom said was… “Did you grab the camera??” Ummm… No. I was trying to wash the turd out of her mouth. Sorry. And I think she was actually disappointed that she was not going to be able to scrapbook that traumatizing moment.
Kids are gross sometimes. July 29, 2005
And I mean really gross.
Sofia got a tooth! July 25, 2005
Finally, finally, FINALLY! I know there are teeth in there! She seems oblivious to it, so I guess that’s good.
I’m so nervous. But I think I really do need to know. The doctor called me today and she thinks everything is just fine. I sure hope so. This will be the longest 2 weeks ever, I think.
How hard is it to get up with the baby?!?! July 24, 2005
Just once. I hardly ever ask him to get up and take care of Sofia while I get an extra half hour of sleep. And when I do ask him… he never does it. I could bitch forever about this. I am mad. But I won’t. I’ll just stop doing things for him when I don’t feel like it. Grrrrrrr.
I’m a hypocrite. July 22, 2005
I am so ashamed. I never thought I would feel like this… we had our ultrasound. Pip was moving around, heart was strong. But they found 2 markers for chromosomal abnormalities. An echogenic focus on the heart and some fluid, or dilation, of the kidneys. The doctor reassured us that with everything else looking perfect, that she *thought* that everything would be just fine. But she aslo said that sometimes there are NO markers and a baby can still be born with a defect so there is no guarantee. She said that an amnio was an option. I always said I would never have an amnio, and declined it right away. I thought that no matter what, this is my baby and I will have it and raise it…. which is true. I will. But last night I broke down. I was having horrible thoughts. This was NOT part of my plan. And last night as I was crying and telling my husband all of the horrible feelings I was having… he just held me and let me cry. When I asked him what we were going to do if something were wrong with the baby…. he said “We’ll feed it, and change it’s diaper, and love it.” Which made me feel even more like a horrible person. This is not how I thought I would react. I put a call into the doctor that discussed our ultrasound results with us and I think I am going to request to go ahead with the amnio. We have another ultrasound scheduled in a month… but even if the markers are gone, I won’t be reassured until I know for sure. If she told me to come in today to have an amnio, I would. I never thought that I would do that. But this is something I think I need to prepare for. I don’t want to keep false hope, and also be a nervous wreck through out the rest of my pregnancy.
I’ll be more that thrilled if we find out nothing is wrong. But if there is… I need to be ready.
Somehow, I feel like something IS wrong. Deep down I think I know.
Pip was kicking away last night, and I wasn’t even excited about it like I was before the ultrasound. I feel sick about this. I do love this baby but I am scared.
Her feet work!!!!! July 18, 2005
At 17 months 1 day old, My Sofia FINALLY took her first steps!!! I almost cried!
Olivia was sad to have missed it, but she took a couple more this morning just for her big sister.
I told Alex that she must have been waiting for Daddy to come home. She didn’t want him to miss it! He missed the first ones anyway…. but I called him right in and he was witness to her second set of steps. It’s amazing, how they grow.
I’m sure it’s just a normal part of being a mother. Sometimes I can’t stop myself from thinking about if the worst were to happen. If something were to happen to my children….. God better take me too, because I wouldn’t want to survive. I know I would collapse and I’m not sure I could get up.
I *think* this is normal. Maybe not so much. I worry about house fires…. mostly along those lines…. where I would have a chance to save them, but couldn’t.
I need my Little Miss Olivia and my Sofia Stinkerina. I really, really do. So, please, keep them safe.